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I’ve always loved reading. As a kid, I would devour tales like Little Red Riding Hood or Sleeping Beauty. As a teen, I was an avid reader of the Baby-Sitters Club books as well as old Harlequin love stories. As a young adult, my tastes broadened to include fantasy worlds like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. Then, in my thirties, I discovered self-help books. I guess I was sensing, on some level, that I wasn’t as happy as I could be—that there were a few gray areas in me that hadn’t yet seen the light.
As I’ve shared in my previous posts, I reached a time in my life when I felt utterly overwhelmed. My different roles, combined with many difficult and taxing life challenges, were too much to handle all at once. I was struggling to keep my head above water and breathe. I felt less and less like myself. I was losing joy. I developed bad habits to cope and keep moving forward, but deep down, I knew those weren’t healthy or sustainable strategies.That’s when I stumbled across How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t: 14 Habits That Are Holding You Back from Happiness by Andrea Owen. It truly helped me understand why I had created so many unhealthy coping mechanisms, find ways to initiate positive changes, and truly find peace in the midst of my chaos.
Why This Book Spoke to Me
How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t isn’t your typical self-help book—it’s raw, honest, and doesn’t shy away from the messy parts of life. Andrea Owen dives into 14 habits that hold women back, like perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-sabotage. As a mom, I saw myself in so many of these habits. I realized I was constantly comparing myself to other moms, feeling guilty for not being “enough,” and letting shame dictate my decisions.
The first habit tackled in this book is negative self-talk, and it hit home — hard. I hadn’t realized how much I was criticizing myself on the inside. It was constant and relentless, about everything. It was as if I had an internal judge who was always condemning me, no matter what I did. There was zero self-compassion — just harsh criticism, bashing comments, and even insults. It’s funny how such an ever-present habit can go unnoticed for so long. But once I saw it and noticed how exhausting and joy-consuming it was, there was no turning back — I had to apply the strategies presented in the book and try to feel better. One of the things that helped me the most was realizing that Jesus would never talk to me like that. Jesus is love, Jesus is compassion, Jesus is forgiveness. If He could love me as I was — flaws and all — who was I to go against Him?
And that was just the first habit! As I continued reading, I was startled to discover that I had almost every bad habit listed in the book. I had some serious work to do on myself!
Here’s a glimpse of the 14 bad habits addressed in this book
- Inner Criticism
- Isolation
- Numbing Mechanisms
- Comparison
- Self-Sabotage
- Imposter Syndrome
- People-Pleasing and Approval-Seeking
- Perfectionism
- Being Strong
- Control
- Catastrophizing
- Blame
- Cynicism
- Overachieving
I bet a few are speaking to you, right?
Practical Takeaways for Moms
Here are just a few lessons — but there are so many more! — from the book that I’ve started applying in my daily life as a mom:
• Stop Comparing Yourself: Instead of comparing myself to the “perfect” moms on social media, I now focus on gratitude for my unique journey. I remind myself that God created me to be the mom my child needs, not someone else.
• Set Boundaries with Love: I’ve learned to say “no” to things that drain me, like overcommitting to activities when I’m already stretched thin. This has given me more focus and energy to be present with my family.
• Replace Shame with Grace: When I mess up (like losing my patience with my child), I’m learning to offer myself the same grace God extends to me. I’ll take a deep breath, pray, and try again.
A Faith-Filled Reflection
Reading this book reminded me of the importance of surrendering my struggles to God. While Andrea Owen’s advice is practical and empowering, I found that pairing her strategies with prayer brought me even closer to the peace I was seeking. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Breaking bad habits isn’t just about willpower—it’s about inviting God into the process and trusting Him to guide us.
Here’s a short prayer I’ve been using as I work on these habits:
Heavenly Father, thank You for loving me just as I am, even with my flaws and struggles. Help me to break the habits that hold me back from the peace You promise. Fill me with Your strength to set boundaries, to speak kindly to myself, and to trust in Your plan for my life. Let me be a light for my family and friends, reflecting Your love and grace in all I do. Amen.
Get the Book and Start Your Journey
If you’re a mom who’s feeling stuck in negative habits, I highly recommend How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t. It’s been a game-changer for me, and I believe it can help you too. You can find it on Amazon here:
I’d love to hear your thoughts if you read it — feel free to leave a comment below or reach out to me directly. Let’s support each other as we grow in faith and motherhood!